Self-portrait of me, my parents and my granny sitting on the porch of the house before my departure back to Germany. I love this Russian tradition of "sitting on the road". You all sit down together for a minute to think about what you leave behind. At my parents house. Tomsk, 02.09.23. © Aliona Kardash

It Smells of Smoke at Home

Aliona Kardash

2022 – Ongoing  — Siberia

About this series

Born in Russia the year before the collapse of the Soviet Union, I moved to Germany in 2019. I told my German friends a lot about this place, which, beyond stereotypes, hardly anyone knew anything about. Since the beginning of the full-scale war in Ukraine, I have begun to doubt whether I ever truly understood what defined my homeland.
In the week after the war began, I wrote a letter to my parents, but I never sent it. We’ve talked about the war only once. They would call it the “special operation.” Over Christmas 2022, I returned for the first time to see my parents and to capture the feelings that accompany me: the pain, the loss of identity and home, and the love for people who believe in a different reality.
What remains of a home when one’s own country becomes a perpetrator? Who do you become when your own family suddenly feels like strangers? How do you find a common language when there are no words left?

Since my grandma very rarely leaves the house, a TV is often her window to the world. The signal in the village she used to live was weak, so she was very happy when she moved to the city that she could now watch the Orthodox TV channel „Spas“ without any interference. Two years ago it showed mostly old Soviet movies, preaching and liturgies on Sundays and holidays. Now the special military operation has also gotten to grandma‘s „Spas“. At my grandma‘s home. Tomsk, 12.01.23. © Aliona Kardash
The terrorist attack on the Krokus City Hall in Moscow occurred during my second week in Tomsk. 145 people were killed - more than in the similar terrorist attack on the "Nord-Ost" Musical that shook the whole country 22 years ago. On the first day of mourning, the people of Tomsk brought toys and flowers to an impromptu memorial. On the second day, videos of white cranes were shown on electronic billboards throughout the country. City center, Tomsk, 25.03.24. © Aliona Kardash
March 16 was a big day for my grandmother - she voted for president, at the age of 94, probably for the last time in her life. She put on a flowered sweater over a flowered robe, but couldn't button it up for a long time. Mom helped her and wrapped her in a scarf and a hat. Grandma looked at herself in the mirror one last time before leaving and said: - God bless me, old fool, that I can vote for Putin one more time! Polling station. Tomsk, 16.03.24. © Aliona Kardash
On February 20, 2022, my parents celebrated their thirty-fourth wedding anniversary. We ordered sushi and bought them two smartphones so that we could finally communicate more than once a month. We talked a lot and walked in the forest at night. My dad showed me the constellations, and my mom was worried about whether I would have time to sleep before the flight. It was my last night at home, the next morning I flew back to Germany, two days later the war began.  In the forest near my parents house. Tomsk, 20.02.22. © Aliona Kardash
A party at a club in Tomsk. DJs even plaid a couple of tracks in Ukrainian. By 2023, the the Russian state has managed to suppress public protests almost completely, even the mere playing of music in Ukrainian is perceived as civil disobedience. A club in the city center. Tomsk, 06.01.23. © Aliona Kardash
Self-portrait in my children's room as an attempt to figure out, how does it feel to be back in a place of my childhood. Am I still belong to this bed, to this house, this country? Self-portrait in my children's room, Tomsk, 11.01.23. © Aliona Kardash
The letter Z, which has become a symbol of Russian aggression in Ukraine, as a decoration outside the supermarket where my parents usually buy their groceries. On the way to busstop. Tomsk, 29.12.22. © Aliona Kardash
View from the plane window on the way to Tomsk. After the Russian invasion of Ukraine began, air travel between Europe and Russia ceased and the time and cost of tickets to get home from Germany doubled. On the plane to Tomsk, 20.12.22. © Aliona Kardash
Graves of Russian soldiers, who died in Ukraine, at the city cemetery near Tomsk. The city authorities allocated a separate section number 39 for the soldiers, which can be easily recognized by the waving flags of the various branches of the Russian army and Wagner unit. City Cemetery. Tomsk, 30.08.23. © Aliona Kardash
My sister Sanya is two years younger than me and lives a completely different life. She is a mother of two, I’m still about to get my Master’s degree. We rarely see each other, there has long been an unspoken consensus between us that we are too different to be friends. All the more important are these brief meetings in Siberia every three years. This time, in parting, she said to me, "You know, I'm glad I have a sister. Self-portrait with my sister in front of the house where we grew up. Tomsk, 05.08.23. © Aliona Kardash
My niece, Masha, has been swimming in the pool for nearly an hour. The sun has almost set behind the roof of the house, and the heat of the day is gradually being replaced by the evening coolness. Masha's lips are turning blue, but she refuses to get out of the water. At times like this, she reminds me of myself. At the dacha. Tomsk, 04.08.23. © Aliona Kardash
Granny stands at the gate of my parents‘ house. She is 95, she has lived in a small village all her life and moved to a one-room apartment in Tomsk five years ago. Granny loves her new home but this place reminds her of the past she is missing. At my parents house. Tomsk, 02.09.23. © Aliona Kardash

Photographer: Aliona Kardash
Nationality: Russian
Based in: Hamburg, Germany
Website:  kardashaliona.com
Instagram: @aliona_kardash

Aliona Kardash (1990) is a documentary photographer from Siberia, based in Hamburg, Germany. She is a member of the DOCKS collective and is represented by the laif agency.Aliona holds a BA in Journalism from Tomsk State University in Russia and an MA from FH Dortmund, Germany. Since 2012, she has worked as a freelance photojournalist for various international media, including Der Spiegel, The Washington Post, GEO, Stern, Die Zeit, and Le Monde.Aliona is the 2025 World Press Photo Award winner in the Long-Term Projects category for Europe. In her photographic practice, she often draws on her own background, searching for universal patterns within deeply personal stories.